It’s been a while since I sat down at the keyboard in hopes to share some of my heart. To connect with all of you. and if I’m being honest, I feel pretty far out of the loop.
With all that’s going on in the world recently, my heart & mind have been pretty overwhelmed. I’m sure if you have air in your lungs, you could agree with me about that. You see, I’ve always prided myself on being an empath. But lately all of my emotions have been all out of whack. Only because I haven’t been focused on the right things. Working on my body, soul, & mind.
I love yoga & mediation, and most times those both coincide with one another. With those and the path of self-care I’ve been on, my energy has been shifting. I have not only been feeling with more intensity, but much more sensitivity. If that’s really even possible. So, with tapping into these different emotions…I have begun to set boundaries. I have to, otherwise I will unconsciously give away all of my energy & become quite a mess. Ya feel me?
Which leads me to one of the reasons I haven’t written on here in the last few months. I have been taking week-long hiatus’ off the internet. Unplugging. Going off the grid. That desire came from feeling overwhelmed for many reasons. I felt like a fraud. Showing up to work through others people’s problems, while neglecting my own. Trying to mend others pain while I was crying myself to sleep for a few weeks. Feeling unqualified. I felt like everyone had something else to give, except me. I know what you’re thinking, I’m being ridiculous. I know, I am.
It wasn’t until a dear friend who I’ve been through a lot with (however haven’t seen in a couple of years) sent me a message on Facebook… did I realize the effect my words had on others. That I needed to keep sharing my gift. To continue being light and love in this world full of darkness. I’ve been reminded before, but it had been a while. She had mentioned how she’s been down in the dumps & she always notices how I’m always “so positive”. We went back and forth for a little while & then she says this, “Well I’m not sure where you want to be, but I want to be where you are at. I seriously look at some things you write and pictures you post and it’s like…. I see the tree but I don’t see the beauty in the tree till someone points it out… you point it out to me and I want to be able to see it on my own.”
I know it’s a bit wordy, but COME ON. That was the sweetest compliment. Whenever I post something with a lot of substance, I always add a pretty photo to cut the intensity. That’s what shes’ talking about. & Wow. Wow. Wow. I was taken back by her. I sat there in silence for a few minutes and thought about how many times I wished I would hear if my words helped someone, if they mattered. & there it was, her encouraging me when I didn’t think my footprints were leaving a mark.
It was almost like God used her to whisper into my journey, don’t give up… because more people need your love than you think. & in that moment, I was reminded it was fear that wanted me to run away & hide. It was fear that wanted me to question my purpose. It was fear that wanted me to give up. It was fear that wanted to break me. It was fear that wasn’t fighting fair. I am done listening to the voices that are trying to pull me down, because they are only resistance in this thing called life. & they have no merit in my heart.
If you’ve gotten this far in my post, I just wanted to tell you…. you are loved. And that quiet cry of your heart? It’s there to guide you. It’s there to tell you that what you do matters. How you love, matters. You matter. It all matters. So make it count.