Sweat baby, sweat baby…

I went to the gym intending to use a 7-day free pass, but ending up getting suckered into signing up for a gym membership. Again.

I was always the girl in high school who aimed for the high scores in relays, running the mile, a low bmi, all of those things & pushed myself to actually doing really well. But after it stopped being a credit towards my diploma & I needed to motivate myself, is when it got hard.

I am not a gym rat, nor did I ever want to go run on a treadmill till I was dripping sweat & looking my most unattractive. But something in my most recent years shifted. Maybe it was because my size 6 pants started getting tight, or that I lacked motivation, maybe because I needed help sleeping at night. Whatever it be, I’m happy my life shifted me into this choice.

I’ll be 26 in August. That’s both exciting & frightening to me. Mainly because I havent traveled the world yet, I havent published my book, nor became that crazy photographer. But I’m working at those things. Every day.

But you have to start small… right? So the way I chose is with my body. If I dont feel 100%, physically, emotionally, anyway really….its my fault. My fault. Not yours, not the guy who made me feel fat or the skinny girl who eats endlessly & never gains a pound. Start small, baby. Start small… & things WILL shift.

It’s funny how when you’re struggling, you never want to believe those sayings people say. The motivational ones that are meant to push you? & inspire? Well frankly,  in the midst of a storm I never wanted to hear them either. But once I pushed myself to the limit in any & every aspect I can finally say…. oh. Now I get it. I understand. I believe in myself now. & I can do it. It does start small. It does start with me.