Forgive me if the title seems cynical, but ladies & gents…I fear im just being honest.
Im 25. Im female. Ive had a few very good relationships & many almost disasters. Im the type of girl who would rather stay single for a year, then jump hoops with 4 guys trying to find ‘the one’. Im the girl who wont ‘give it up to you’ for any reason. I’m the girl who has had several guys tell me they love me & have only said it back & meant it with two. Does that make me wrong? Let me explain.
I have never been dependent on a man. It’s strange, because growing up in a household where my father worked & my mother stayed at home with us kids- you think I would be. I’m the exact opposite. I’ve seen how gracious & lovely my father has been over these years, but its not necessarily 100% of what I’d want.
Hear me out, I would be far beyond blessed to receive a man like my father & would never turn that man away. But I’d be dependent for different reasons. I dont need a man to validate my emotions & well being in this world. I dont need a man to tell me how intelligent or independent I am. I certainly dont need a man to feel complete.
Most girls my age, I’m afraid, need this. They desire it, they search for it & when they dont get it…. they blame our societies ‘pathetic-excuse-of-a-man’. Ladies, oh ladies… how you’re wrong. Your perspectice is far off. Im not saying you havent come across a guy who is far from your ideal, but do you even know what you want?
I got out of an almost year relationship about five months ago, so for a season I’ve been single again. Now my ex, he was wonderful. We didnt end in any disagreements, no one cheated & there was absolutely no hostility. This was the best break up I could have asked for. We didnt grow apart. We didnt hold any hate. We just agreed the next of our adventures had to be without each other, considering we chose different states for them. Now this guy, he was everything.
He challeneged me. Apreciated me. Thought the world of me. Found me incredibly intelligent. Laughed humbly at my honesty, because he’s never met someone so truthful. Felt safe & secure in my presence, because I accepted all he was… thoughts, flaws, fears & all. Took me on to weirdest dream spots & adventures. He let me in to his world, completely. To be honest? I’ll always love him. This guy was gold for me, even though there were moments I didnt realize it. He came into my life when I needed him & still inspires me to this day.
I can take his worldly flaws & blow them up, out of proportion in an uproar because of how I miss him….during a moment he possibly made me feel inferior or unintelligent. But I wont. I wont do it. Relationships arent perfect by any means, they all have challenging moments. Questionable times where you wonder is this the best thing for me? Am I wasting my time?
If you spend all your time focusing on the negative ladies & gents, thats what you’ll get. Take your significant other & lift them up. Make them believe in your love & theirs. Help them to succeed in their dreams. Be a good listener. Dont judge them, the world does enough of that. Look at them as though they are your heart. Make them feel special. This life is in your hands for a reason. You have such an immense job to help mold them into the best version of themselves, whether or not they remain yours. Be gentle. Use your words kindly & appropriately.
& remember, your life is meant to impact others. How do you want them to remember you when you’re no longer a constant in their lives? How do you want them to speak of you to new friends or significant others? Remember that. Always be kind. Stay humble. Love always wins & baby love conquers all.