Abigail Smith is a photographer. She is also a daughter. A sister. Someone’s mentor. Somebody’s friend. I dont know Abigail Smith personally & I’m afraid I never will. Did you ever wonder what it would be like if you werent you anymore? If you were suddenly gone, how would your world react? Whatever you imagined is wrong. There is nothing romantic about death. Grief is like the ocean: its deep & dark & bigger then us. And pain is like a theif in the night. Quiet. Persistant. Unfair. Diminished by time & faith & love.
Its a chilly fall night in Chicago. I sit imbedded in blankets as the wind gusts & the quiet raindrops fall to the ground outside my window. The clock shows a bit past midnight, sipping on my now lukewarm coffee (decaf of course)…
Abigail & her family come to mind.
Sweet Abigail…. I dont know you, however I feel connected to you in many ways, so much that I feel as though I’ve known you all my life. I heard of you a while back through Sarah Barlow’s facebook. I then quickly grew to know of you & your journey. I am completely overwhelmed by your story & have been brought to tears on several occasions for you, both happy & sad.
Happy tears, because I am so proud of you. You are incredible. So full of strength, dignity & grace. Our Lord is beaming with Love & admiration for you, what a wonderful daughter you’ve been & continue to be towards him. I am in awe at the grace you carry through your circumstances. You push me to be more dedicated & fearless in showing his love to the World. Of course I’ve had doubts in myself, but you- you’ve changed that for me.
Sad, because of many reasons. I wish I was able to know you. I hope thats not selfish, but your heart for the Lord is kindred to mine- that im sure. I see you in the rough of your journey & glowing as if you were on cloud 9. Your joy & faith, is something of a miracle to me.
See- I have battled depression & anxiety for many years (I’m only 25, but anxiety started ten years ago for me) & for no apparent reason. I have had a lot of doubts in the Lord & have had many arguments with him for no reason other then anger & silly dissapointments. But witnessing your journey has been incredibly challenging, as well as encouraging to me.
You have been such a beautiful story & miracle to so many Abigail….& its just starting… I will continue to share your story. How your love for the Lord moved me even deeper into my walk with him. Such an impact you have made in my life & we haven’t even met- thats tremendous. So many I’m sure hold you near & dear to their heart both now & forever. You have made an everlasting impact on the world. They’re talking about you everyday in Heaven while you’re still here, dont you know that? They have the most extravagant ball planned & the Heavens are waiting on their most esteemed guest– in due time of course. 🙂
Know you are ALL in my heart, my daily thoughts & prayers. I pray for strength in times of weakness, grace in times of need & joy in times of sadness. God will cover you with his unconditional love during all of this.
Your sister in christ,