Homeless… how does society view them?

I moved form Chicago, IL to Scottsdale, AZ recently…

While living in Chicago(24 years of my life), I would notice homeless on the street corners, at Millenium park, on the blue line, on busses, or just making their “home” at Union Station-everywhere. I’ve seen it, I’m sure you have. I mainly ignored them & went about my day. That didn’t make me feel very good… anyways..

Arizona is different, or maybe it isnt… It still hit me differently. My eyes & heart were sinking for this broken soul.

I was leaving one of my favorite places; the library… & I saw this old man walking away from the building. He had literally all he owned with him, which wasn’t much, but enough to slow his fragile & old body tired. He had a few suitcase looking bags with him. Needless to say, it was about 3pm & 103 degrees, while he was wearing jeans & the most beat up shirt I’ve ever seen. As he walked his head hung low, his neck looked sore, as did his withering away body.

I saw an opportunity to help & I leapt at it. Normally in my past I would be a jealous, selfish & flat our RUDE human being to homeless, thinking why should I “them”? If I help him he might try to take from me, might threaten or hurt me, or might just try to follow me.. Come on, you’ve thought it… were human, it happens. But something in me has changed. I saw this man as the most beautiful creation God has made… why you ask?

He has absolutely nothing in this life, but his life. He may seem like he doesn’t have anything going for him, but he has EVERYTHING going for him. All he has is what was with him & the air in his lungs. He has endless possibilites within reach, he just needs a little bit of Love, Faith, God… Tell me why I was jealous of him a little bit, weird? Maybe.. but I’m a weird person.

So I went & grabbed food from the nearest fast food joint, sure not the healthiest… but it was fast, easy & gave him some sort of energy. As I introduced myself, he seemed timid, unsure, uncomfortable… but I told him I saw him & thought he could use dinner & I wouldn’t mind company as I had mine. So we sat & talked while he waited for his bus.

As his bus came, not even fifteen minutes later, I was feeling happy & sad. This man taught me how fragile & precious life is. Showing others you or I care, that people matter regardless their situations or circumstances. We aren’t meant to judge, but Love. That it doesn’t matter what kind of clothes you wear, what car you drive, where you live, how you look–It’s your heart that makes all the difference & what you do with all the things you were blessed with.

I’ve being asking God to help me be bold in his love for the world… I’m so thankful this man, stranger… reaffirmed how I’m to bless the children of God how I know best… through Love. I’m not saying I’m perfect, FAR from it. But I know that when I cling to the Lord, his promises & his wants for me…. life is so much more wonderful. Your heart softens, your eyes are opened to the brokenness in the world…. & you want ot help!

Guys, I’m so excited for what God’s doing with me. I feel everyday he’s teaching & building me for something more… I hope you can be along for this ride. I hope you challenge yourself to be love & be bold in it. Don’t feel afraid to look or feel dumb, just be. I know that when I feel inadequate for something I’m called to do, I have been learning to learn on the Lord & all my fear falls away. It’s the most amazing thing.

Love the world through Gods eyes, not your own.

It’s magical that way.

Advertisements

Awaken to Destiny.

It’s so easy to settle, isn’t it? I find most of us end up doing such. Maybe not permanently, but for a period of time in our lives it happens. It could be a job, a relationship, a habit, a goal, a dream. We don’t push past the status quo, why? Don’t we believe we have what it takes? Is it the horrible comparison problem we have? I know for me jealousy ties in at times. Im human & I feel insignificant to all the greatness in the world from time to time.

Maybe our mindset & heart is in the wrong place. I am far from perfect, I have many imperfections that I struggle with on a day to day basis. I know at times, more often then not… I’m thinking how I shouldn’t be. I look at the world in a negative aspect & the whole “whoa is me” attitude. It’s so much better when you let go of that, & let God.

I know most of you are thinking, God? How could God let all these bad things happen in my life if he is for me? Why does he want us to struggle with our alcoholic father in law, or our physically abusive ex-husband who wont leave your life, how about our job that is oh so mundane… It could be anything…right? He has a purpose for your life, I promise.

God wants to use you, yep you… to be the difference in hurting & broken peoples lives. We all know how broken our world is. We could ourselves a million reasons not to help, that people arrived in the situations on their own & should get themselves out alone. I think that’s the wrong mindset. We need the help of the tender hearted as well as God on the forefront of our mind.

We need to shut out all the things in our life that keep us from ENGAGING in LIFE. It’s hard, trust me I know… but it’s worth it. If you’re struggling to be the best “you” in your life, start with baby steps… I take them everyday. Sometimes I make a lot of distance, other days I’m a little sluggish.

Now I’m not saying you have to be superman or superwoman, however you could get close with Gods help. 😉 It is by far one of the most empowering things to help another human being in need. I’m sure some of you could relate. My entire life I have volunteered at food pantries, homeless shelters, hospitals; places where souls & lives are hopeless…let me tell you something…

They are the most beautiful experiences I have ever had. You have every chance to shower love on those who have lost it, or simply have never had it. When you connect with another human being that has  “nothing”, snaps your reality into focus.

Maybe they settled for a life of drugs, a life of misery, a life of abuse, a life of being alone, but YOU & me can help change that. In the bible it states, Iron sharpers Iron.. So I encourage you to be around others who have a similar heart as you & encourage you to strive for the best you can. Doing so helps you save & transform the world with God’s love.

Empowering people to rise up is such a beautiful journey. You may feel like you’re not qualified or have enough certificates, degrees, accomplishments, or experience in life… but God says differently. He tells & shows us we are his children. He already gave us what we needed, we just need to trust him & fall into his arms.

I’ve been challenged latley in my walk with christ, more so then ever. I feel the Lord speaking to me more vibrantly, asking me to live boldy in love. So this is what Im choosing to do. This is what I hope you choose. We need to stop being selfish children of this world, we aren’t entitled to anything. We need to start showing the world the Love, it never fails. That what God says in the bible is so unbelievebly true.

Soften your heart lost souls & join me on this journey… as I start to walk on water. Come with me. Lets stop doubting the Lord, for he already knows our needs. Lets live righteous & then he will give us everything we need. It’s a life we don’t need to settle, yet surrender.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQyXltkrzn8

 

Schizophrenia or Alzheimer’s…. what’s holding you down?

We live in an evil world

full of disease, plagues, hurt, ache…

I know first hand what it feelsl ike to feel burdened by a crippling diease:Anxiety.

I shudder as I even type that word, it has stolen many years of my life.

It has challenged me in ways I never thought I could battle, or survive.

It’s taken me to very dark places, ones that I didn’t even recognize the person I was or becomming.

It crawled into my min & settled there, since I was 11… I’ll be 25 next month.

Trust me when I say, I know exactly how you feel.

But also listen to me when I say it’s possible to rise above.

I never thought much of my life so far, my accomplishments (or lack their of), my beauty, my personality–I thought the world would be better without me.

I wasn’t adding to the world, I was depleting it of every energy to try & make myself feel alive.

Most days I’ve woken up sad, frustrated with the world in everyway. I thought I have no intellect, no motivation or inspiration. I didn’t have an awards telling me I was doing grea, no friends to understand my darkest of pains. I had parents who have been the most beautiful part in my struggles.

They have never, not once stopped helping me. I’m sure I exhausted them of every bit of energy & unconditional love they could ever have for a child. When I cried, they cried. When I couldn’t sleep, they would stay up with me on the couch. When I couldn’t get through a day at school, they would pick me up. When I needed to go to the doctor, they would rearrange their days for me. I have been blessed with the absolute most outstanding & incomparable parents that have ever been, I mean it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmTGLdSW5Sw&list=UUtwUJ9r7NE-tvRdQ1-a49HA

They are the joy of my heart. Always have been & always will be. As I continue to struggle with my battle, I have the love of two parents who will never give up on me. It encourages & inspires me to help those who have little to no understanding of Anxiety. I know much of the crippling disease. I have said many times when I needed help….”No one will ever understand…” But I do. I’m here for you. To talk. To encourage. To give ways to move past it.

 

Love you lost souls.

Acceptance. We all need it….right?

Where do you find your acceptance?

Your approval?

It might be in the clothes you wear, the purses you have, the home you live in, the PTA you belong to, the name of the nutrionist you go to… so on & so forth.

Worldy things, do they matter?

If you find your acceptance in a shirt one day & next it’s ruined…do you run to the next materlistic item to feel loved?

I often find friends, family, & yes MYSELF guilty at times holding true to the things that are here one day & gone the next.

Personally, I don’t like putting my self-confidence & merit in something that’s like gone within the blink of an eye.

Why does society care about your bank account? Money will eventually perish… & then what?

We cling to the things of this world because were afraid. They’re the things that make us believe everythings gonna be okay.

Let me tell you something, if that’s your thought process… I feel for you.

I find that approval is our generations addiction. It’s sad, really.

Can you feel good about yourself without posting a picture to facebook to get 15 “likes”?

Or without recieving a “retweet” from a notable actor?

How about if you only had one follower on your blog…? that’s my fate.

I bring myself ot think about Lance Armstrong for a second…

Think of how hard he worked to “become someone” or to have so many medals,

to be the best of this world in cycling. He may have been at the top of his game, until he realized cheating (drug enhancements) was an easier way. He was led astray, to believe worldy pleasures would be the best kind of approval or acceptance. But he was soon stripped of every medal, name, etc… since 1998. Books are being re-written, accompanied by several lawsuits. Think he thought it was worth it?

All I know is God doesn’t condone what he did, but he doesn’t condemn him for it. I think what we need to do is go for true gold by seeking God.

Our greatest fear should not be of failure.

The blessings & acceptance that you “need”;

will come to you after you are steadfast in chasing God.

Jesus invites us all to a new race.

So lets chase after the things in this world that wont perish.

That when all is stripped away, no one can take from you.

That, my friends, is the love of God.

Do you lie to yourself or everyone else?

Trust.

We all want it.

But dont we all lie..

At least a few times in our lives?

How does trust become attainable?

I have always felt that I wasn’t good enough. Not pretty enough.. Intellectual enough. Street smart, but not book smart. Not kind enough. Not gentle enough.

We all have areas in our lives we hope to improve, at least I’d hope so.

The aspect Ive found God speaking volumes to me about, is trust.

Simple. I didnt trust myself.

I didn’t trust myself to succeed.

I didn’t trust myself to be the best I could be.

I didn’t trust my own self-destructing thoughts. Scary place to be.

I’ve always found myself embellishing on all the areas in my life that were in fact negative.

I told people I was fantastic, yet I was miserable.

I made it seem I had a lot of money by going out every weekend, yet I was in complete debt.

I told friends I was doing well in courses, yet I was failing.\

I made life at home seem phenominal, yet I felt emotionally detached from my family.

Where did this lack of confidence come from & why was it making me turn in this person I despised?

It’s easy for us as humans to find fault in others & to think a little white lie wont hurt…

But it will & if you keep spinning it, you’ll only ever hurt yourself.

Don’t let the negative voices of this world speak down on you. Know that you are worthy. You are beautiful. You are smart. You are gentle.

Start having a big opinion of yourself… that of a warrior & conqueror.

Know that the convictions of this world, don’t have to be in your heart.

Get out of your thoughts, get out of your head.

Start believing that your truth, means FAR more then your lies.

Don’t allow the world to feed you lies anymore.

More importantly, dont let the world accept yours anymore.

That you have absolutely nothing to be embarrased of, if you do; you got yourself there..

But there is healing in the word of God.

Be bold.

Stand out.

Know your imperfections.

Embrace change.

Allow the word of God to be your thoughts.

Renew your minds.

Lets learn to think & speak in the accordance of our desires.

Lets stop gambling with our lives & start investing.

The person you’ve always wanted to become, is right around the corner.

Two-Faced.

Have you ever been in a relationship, friendship, kinship–what have you.. & felt as though you don’t know this person?

They seem as though they don’t want to open up, they’re hiding something or just being sneaky? I definitely have, very recently too. 

It’s weird how you are on the top of the world in a relationship at a few months in, you feel as though you know everything there is about this person–to be completely dumbfounded. I have been getting to know this guy & things have been exciting, thrilling, adventurous. He got my heart going & I would get goosebumps just from a silly text.

Well the more you get out of the “honey-moon phase” of getting to know someone, reality & truth sets in. You start fully accepting this person in your life, only to have to start compromising with one another–if it’s worth it to you. I thought I found Mr. Perfect. FINALLY! 

I was wrong, very very wrong… Something stunned me the other day as we were hanging out. We were getting deep into conversation, talking about meaning & such. He had told me the more he goes about life he doesn’t feel of this world… simply disconnected. He starts going off on this diatribe of words trying to make sense of it all & that’s when things got weird.

First… Let me mention how hard life is to share when you have someone who fully believes in Jesus & his way of life….and the other believes but doesn’t find the need to follow or have a life full of faith. That just causes tension that is unneeded…. 

So back to our conversation– I literally look away & back up at his face, to see one that wasn’t his. It was by far one of the weirdest experiences I’ve ever had. I stared, scared & then jumped… He noticed my energy change & didn’t understand my reaction. It’s unexplainable. 

This person I found myself connected to for months, has misled me & I didn’t notice his true colors till that moment. It’s almost as if I was given a freakish warning to let go. Well It’s a good thing my heart isn’t completely invested. I think I’ll stay his friend-he’s good to be in my life…

But when you’re with someone just because of their looks? RUN. They are not good for you. You will not make it. Because outer beauty fades when the personality is ugly. It’s like WOW, what did I see in you? absolutely nothing. So here I am again….starting from scratch. Do I keep looking or let another guy come to me?

Do we get so lucky in choosing?

Or does God place people in our lives?

Im beginning to wonder…

 

Anxiety.

Does anyone know the meaning? The dictionary states:

an abnormal and overwhelming sense of apprehension and fear…

I disagree. Its the devil. It sucks out every possible glimpse of hope you’ll ever have.

It tried to ruin me for over ten years. Still now & then I have to fight it. I had my moments

or feeling like I didn’t want to go on anymore, but I did. Moments where I had no hope &

literally thought everything & everyone in my life was out to get me.

How frustrating is it that you have this ache in your heart & almost paralyzing factor… which I’ve come to find incurable– hear me out.

There is healing in the Lord–no medicine has ever helped me. Because really, you grow so dependent upon the medication to make you feel “normal”…. that your world without it is absolutely more frightening then ever before. But when you cling to the promises of God– WHOOOO it’s the best thing. I know some of you might not be believers, but trust me… this will help you.

My mom never understood when I wanted to go off my medication–which I tried about any and every kind; on them for a few years. But nothing ever worked…. and only until recently did I realize why I never needed them. Falling in the arms of Jesus is so much more pure & comfortable–

1 John 4:18

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

Even if you cant believe in God right away, or choose not too–lean on Love. But trust me when I say this, Love will lead you to Jesus–because that’s what he is… & that’s what I strive for. The closer I am to Jesus, the more happy I have ever been. Now I’m not saying I’m going to have immediate release of all my aches & pains…that’s a life long journey. You’re going to have to want to change. That’s the difference.. For those of you without hope…

BELIEVE ME when I say this… I’m 24 now, my first panic attack came at about 9. I know how you feel, I really do. I’m not just saying it for my own glory. But I want to help you. I’ve had every kind of physical symptom where I thought I had a brain tumor to heart attack. I’ve been in the ER abut three times because I thought my life was over… Sure it was. My life with the Lord didn’t exist. But when I started to put my trust back in him… day by day, little by little I started feeling like I was breathing again. Not the kind of suffocation you feel when you’re anxiety ridden, where you’re grasping for air. I don’t even need to concentrate on it… ahhhh beautiful.

My goal in life is to help those who are in pain & agony from anxiety; I’ve been in your shoes… I know how it is. Contact me if you’d life any guidance. You know the times you want to talk to someone & refrain from it because they will think you’re crazy? I won’t, because I went through it. 🙂

 

MWidner88@gmail.com

Love you little voices

-Michelle