At night I fall asleep with visions of myself-dancing & laughing & crying with them. My memories with them are the only thing that sustains me & my only really happy times. I once had a dream of becoming a beautiful writer, but there have been unfortunate events that have taken my dreams & thrown them around the air & my life like leaves falling from a tree during fall…
I don’t really mind, because I know it takes getting everything you’ve ever wanted & then losing them to know what real freedom is.
When the people I know find out about me & how I’m living my life, they ask me why–but there is no use in talking to people with a home. They have no idea what it feels like to seek safety in other people & for home to be wherever you lay your head.
I’ve always been an usual girl.
My mother always told me I had a different soul.
One that connected to many & very little at the same time…where I could pick up & let go wherever I landed in life. I never fully gave anyone or anything my heart.
I have never planned for my life to turn out this way, but it has.
I belong to no one, who belongs to everyone.
Who had nothing, but wanted everything.
I want to breath & drink in every experience.
& I push myself so far away from people,
to the point where it scares me.