The road may be long….
Today I was in a bookstore….minding my own business, when a couple comes up & sits next to me. You could tell they had a bit of tension between them…. and needed to get things out on the table…
The guys doesn’t hold back & says he thinks that they need to end things and with all the issues they’ve had, they can’t even seem to get past old problems… they just resurface. He doesn’t see how they can keep going with how unhappy they are at times & with the lack of effort on her part… Her reaction? “I can’t live without you….I’ll die.”
Have you ever been in a relationship with someone whose survival truly depends on your love? Who has threatened things when you told them you wanted to end things? Do you honestly believe you’re the oxygen to their lungs? Do you allow them to feel that way? The emotion that fuels this kind of relationship isn’t true love, it’s desperation.
When someone says ” I can’t live without you,” it reflects a infant attraction. Whereas if we were an actual baby and depended on our care takers to feed & nurture us…that kind of love. The hunger for feeling the need to be constantly nurtured comes from someone who almost needs your love in a “caretaker” point of view. The “I can’t live without you” is only because we can’t care for ourselves tenderly & need someone as a stable rock in our life….as to where “I can live without you, I just don’t want to…” is an assurance that sets the stage for real love.
There is a thin line between I love you so much & I can’t live without you, I’ll die…. It’s simply not the right way of expressing your love for someone & that would make me nervous if I was ever told something like that.. because that would almost make me feel like I’d have to show my significant other constant appreciation & reassure them that my love is real…. that is extremely draining. It’s not the kind of love I’d ever want. It’s not honest & it doesn’t allow any room for growth.
It comes down to almost being possessive instead of letting your loved one feel “free”. When you start acting possessive, controlling & insecure….that’s when you should know something is most definitely wrong. Your love should always make you feel, alive, free, loved & above all things…. it should be pure… You should be constantly growing with your loved one. Pushing each other out of their boundaries, appreciating their dreams, supporting their ambitions & wants, showing your love for them in ways they want, not always you…
To breath the same air they do, view the world with the same eyes, beat to the same heart….It’s a beautiful thing, if you allow yourself to love. ❤
Imagine for a moment, your life… Everything & everyone that’s in it. Your family, your friends, your job, your passions, everything is all there…
& then it’s wiped away within an instant… You lose it…including your memory.
Opening your eyes to a world around you that which is so unfamiliar. You’re surrounded by family you don’t recognize, friends who’s touch you don’t know, loved ones voices you can’t connect to your heart….
Everything of yours that belonged to the world is still there, yet you don’t know how to feel it, how to love it.. How to know it.
How would you think of your life now? Would you treat your loved ones differently?
You wake up to a husband, a wife… & they’re just a face in the crowd…
You’re brought ‘home’ into something that you cant feel. You see pictures of your life,
Someone near & dear to me lately told me they wish they had never been born. Simply because no one understands them, they feel lonely, they have no accomplishments & they think no one had true love for them…
Now this is simply their perspective…
Because they are loved immensely. Just not the ways they want.
I was thinking to myself, I’m only 23 & I’ve had some difficult times. Its unfair to measure mine to someone else… Because even though mine my be less to someone else, they might be huger to my heart.. Anyways..
It came to me that I wondered how this person measured happiness, love, life…
Have they watched the sun rise over the horizon on a lake? Or laid under the stars in the middle of a field? How about making a snow angel? Or had a genuine hug..
Is our happiness & love measure as a whole from when we look back on our lives? Or do you define it in moments?
Maybe they gotten over feelings of neglect? Failure? Never amounting to anything worth of love?
Life is more exciting then we let it be.
If I was constantly happy, I personally would be miserable. Wouldn’t you? We’d simply get bored.. No ones life is perfect, maybe not even ideal, or close to what we want…
But instead of living every moment in fear or in thought of being unloved, unhappy or unworthy… Live it in love.
They didn’t really think they’d be better off dead, they just need love.
So open your eyes to those around you who normally don’t register twice in your thoughts…
Live in the moments. Give birth to yourself daily. Love what each moment brings, because you might not get your next. ❤
“Obstacles don’t have to stop you. If you run into a wall, don’t turn around & give up. Figure out how to climb it, go through it or walk around it.” Michael Jordan
It’s time to get off your lazy but, yes you! Well me too…. Stop watching TV when you’d rather be the one acting. Stop listening to musicians, pick up and instrument & become one. You want to become a writer? So write..How about those few extra pounds you want to lose? Well sign up for that cheap monthly fee & get your butt to the gym! In the long run, you’ll be doing yourself a favor. Push yourself.
24 hours in a day may not be enough for you, you might think you have a list that could never be finished… you’re wrong. Re-prioritize your habits, your way of thinking, who you surround yourself with…. & start actually living your life. So often we live our life as though we only exist. That’s true, even for me.
Maybe you need a little encouragement… well find it. Find it in the dreams of others, the determination of friends, pushing yourself & making sure you’re the best version of yourself….people will surround you. It’s human nature to have people falling into your lap….if you have all these ambitions & dreams & let nothing get in your way…. People will be drawn to you & will love to see you succeed in every way.
Right now I’m going over a lot of hurdles trying to figure out my place in the photography world-it’s just the beginning…. It’s terrifying, but I love every second of it…because it’s what I love. It’s what gets me going, brings me the joy I deserve.. but my battle is everyday… It’s all about improving myself, challenging only myself in getting better. If you compare yourself to others in any sense….you will fail. So keep your blinders on & keep going..
They aren’t brick walls your fighting, they’re speed bumps…. & all it takes sometimes is a little more momentum, a little more umph to get over, try running at it with all your might & you’ll get over it. But don’t give up.
“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” – Dale Carnegie
I’ve had a lot of different things happen in my life in a short span of time…. I’ve been looking for new cars, trying to find a new car to buy–first ever, looking for potential places to move out on my own… Even look for a new job. Doesn’t it seem as though when you want to fix everything, it’s all at once?
Well that might be the problem. Focus on improving little things…a day at a time. It’s easy to get grumpy at the office or at work, especially if everyone else is that way…. or if a boss redirects his anger out on you, for someone else’s fault. It might be difficult at first, but if we tweak our thoughts a little bit, a day at work, won’t feel that way. I often find myself daydreaming at work, not giving it my all… come on we’re all at fault for that. But if we give our 100% at work, or any other matter…people will notice your effort…maybe not right away…but you will be given credit. Don’t seek approval of others, be yourself & let what wants to come…follow. Because if you’re thinking that no one will notice you, they wont. You are, whether you like it or not….what you believe. So start thinking positive….Smile more…find reasons to laugh… Just think….will ALL of today matter five years from now?? ❤
Easier said then done, right?
Now I’ve lived in my current house since I was 13yrs old & I’m now 24..
Growing up it was so easy to feel at home in our neighborhood..
Four families- with about 5 kids each, we were inseparable, every day as children. We would wake up and sometimes even skip breakfast to go out & explore until mom called us back home at dinner time with her bell. We always knew her signal, considering we weren’t like today’s generation–no cell phones. We didn’t care for video games, tv, sitting inside & ‘being bored’. We didn’t have time to ever get bored..
Back to my main point, growing up in a neighborhood that becomes your family, well its hard to have to say goodbye when its all you’ve ever know & loved. You grow & learn your way through life with them… Just admiring life as it comes your way, but its not like you’re all in it only for yourself. We always had each others back, always.
Now in my new neighborhood I never had a desire to connect, simply because everyone was really really old or really really young… So it was just me, my family & friends I’ve always had.. Yet time only made us grow apart, not much stayed the same.
There’s this guy in my ‘new’ neighborhood.. He lives at the end of the block & no matter what… Every single time I pass his home. Turning on our street or off, he waves with the biggest grin there was. He waves, he makes you feel welcome, loved. He doesn’t know much of me.. I’ve said hi in passing…
But sometimes that’s enough. Showing someone you acknowledge them… & making their day brighter with a smile. With a friendly wave, maybe a how are you… But genuinely mean it and truly open your ears and heart to what they say…
Always love. Always be kind. Embrace strangers, admire friends… Make a difference in anyway you know how. Start today.. Shift your thinking habits just a bit from ‘generation me’ & give to those around you.. 🙂
You’re upset your boss criticized you this morning? Or that your parents came down on you about a choice you made… How about your significant other saying you aren’t giving them enough attention? Is everything completely tearing you apart?
Well I have some news for you… You can accept the negativity or you can spin it in a new light. You can choose to let the small things roll of your back… You’re not here to please people. Your goals & expectations are your own. You have no one to ultimately make happy other then God. & everyday he is proud of you. He is expectant of great things happening for you.
He looks at you with joy because he made you & he looks at the things that tug at your emotions & he put them there… To test you, but more importantly to show you how to grow…
Live in the eyes of his destiny for you.